November 15, 2006
I am trying to figure out what it is. First, these adolescents, like their other poor counterparts, experience a tremendous amount of stressful life events. There are constant barriers and challenges they are faced with and must navigate an unpredictable world. Second, despite all of the possible negative events in their lives, they have something that keeps them going, something that makes them get up in the morning and go through another day. They are not antisocial, underachieving, or in possession of low aspirations as the current research would suggest. The data analysis process became the discovery of this “thing” and the realization that the “thing” is hope.
I am trying to write a paper that will capture the viseral feeling that my slide show conveys. I want to get that feeling written down. I think it is hope. It has been right there all along. . .the last quote of my slide show it "Hopefully my dreams will keep me going."
Monday, March 12, 2007
NEOA conference
April 6, 2006
Presenting at NEOA was really great. My research was well received and it was good to bring it to people who work with this population on a daily basis. I was hesitant to get on my soap box and say that I think social and emotional development should be an aspect of Upward Bound programs, but I did mention it briefly. At the end a person from SSS at UNH said that she wanted to reaffirm what I said about the importance of social and emotional development and say that it is definitely needed. As someone who works with them when they get to college, she can see that they need it. She said in reference to my findings about their attitudes toward people who have money and not wanting to be defined by their social status that these kids don’t want to be “outed” when they get to college and they are hesitant to create a community of people like them. They can’t see beyond the money issue. She also thought that my finding about peer group membership might be related to the fact that they are planning to get out. They don’t identify with a less desirable group because they want to get out of it and they are caught in the middle.
Interpretive Focus Groups
April 4, 2006
I’ve been thinking about the interpretive focus groups I want to conduct with my data. I am thinking about creative ways to look at the data with a group. The obvious ways are to read a transcript aloud. I am also thinking about showing a photograph and saying “tell me the story that goes with this photo” or something like that. Also asking them to help me figure out the teen pregnancy finding and the peer group finding. I also had the idea to day from a speaker I heard to maybe do a card sort kind of thing where I write words from the interviews and have them sort them into categories. Just another way to talk about classism and other issues. I may try this this summer in class and see how it works before I bring it to the focus groups.
March 30, 2006
I am trying to figure out two of the findings. First, the peer group membership finding. Most of the adolescents say that they are not members of a specific peer group. They describe themselves as floaters. They have friends, just not a specific group. One possible explanation is that kids form low income families tend to have more distance in their familial relationships. I think this is evident in the family stress model. Because of these distant relationships, it is necessary to have more friends in order to create a family. This is seen in gang membership, mostly comprised of low income adolescents who are looking for a family.
The other finding I am trying to figure out is the delaying marriage and family until after a career. From Lisa Dodson’s book it is pretty clear that many of these girls do not see a life beyond high school and therefore do not see having a child as being a potential barrier to their success. Teen pregnancy is also related to low achievement in school and many of the kids are high achievers. What also startled me was that two girls said that an unplanned pregnancy could be a barrier that could prevent them from achieving their goals. They said it as though it was as out of their control as being hit by a car. I think this ties in with the external locus of control that is more common in low income populations. They do not think they have any control over getting pregnant, that it is something that will happen to them.
March 25, 2006
I have been working on my slide show. I am really pleased at how it has all come together. The juxtaposition of the photos of the context they live in with their thoughts about their lives is really striking. I think the most important thing this slide show conveys is the hope and resilience they exhibit. The show makes me cry. I hope it has the same impact on the audience and it conveys the depth of my emotion toward the topic.
Phenomenology
I met with D.W. today to talk about Phenomenology and how I can infuse the philosophy into my research. He said that as long as I say that I didn’t set out to use a phenomenological lens, but learned more about it later and it fits with what I did, I can use that as a way to frame my work and bring it to the audience. I think I am going to use the Four lived worlds: temporal, corporeal, spatial, and relational to organize my data. I think there are themes in each of these areas coming out.
Temporal- lived time- the kids talk about their future goals and plans, they also talk about their parents’ childhoods to get at generational poverty and how their lives may or may not be different than their parents’ lives when they are adults.
Spatial- lived space- we talk about isolation, about living in a rural area and how it impacts their ability to see their friends, their yards, their houses, etc.
Relational- we talk about friends, family, community, school and their relationship to each of those systems and how the systems interact with each other. We talk about their relationships with their families and friends, partners, and future children.
Corporeal- we talk about thoughts and feelings, personal qualities they have, fears about the future, etc.
Friday, November 4, 2005
Living Wage
November 4, 2005
I have been thinking that a limitation to my study was the fact that TRIO measures the poverty level differently than the national poverty threshold and so I can’t compare my findings to other research on low-income families. Yesterday I was doing a little more investigating and learning more about the poverty threshold and learned some really interesting information. First TRIO uses the next tier which is 150% instead of 100% of the poverty threshold, meaning $28,000 as the income cutoff. Some programs (like Medacaid in Maine) uses 200% as a cut off in order to serve more people. My sample are the working poor of western Maine, meaning that one or both of the parents is working and they are still poor.
Further reading led me to the Living Wage estimates which are much more accurate in determining just how much it actually costs to get your basic needs met in any area. The poverty threshold is calculated my multiplying the cost of a minimum food budget by three (because in the 60’s food was one third of one’s expenses). The living wage is individualized by city, even county and calculates food, housing, utilities, child care, and taxes. These figures show that one would need to make more than twice the amount of income at the federal poverty level to meet the basic needs. In terms of living wage, in Maine it is $37,759 for a family of four compared to the federal poverty level which is $18,392 for a family of four. This just astounds me. Translated to minimum wage, a person living in Maine would need to make $14.84 an hour, while minimum wage is only $6.25 in Maine. I just find this fascinating and maddening. The per capita income in Maine right now is about $18,734, that is $400 above the poverty level.
I have been thinking that a limitation to my study was the fact that TRIO measures the poverty level differently than the national poverty threshold and so I can’t compare my findings to other research on low-income families. Yesterday I was doing a little more investigating and learning more about the poverty threshold and learned some really interesting information. First TRIO uses the next tier which is 150% instead of 100% of the poverty threshold, meaning $28,000 as the income cutoff. Some programs (like Medacaid in Maine) uses 200% as a cut off in order to serve more people. My sample are the working poor of western Maine, meaning that one or both of the parents is working and they are still poor.
Further reading led me to the Living Wage estimates which are much more accurate in determining just how much it actually costs to get your basic needs met in any area. The poverty threshold is calculated my multiplying the cost of a minimum food budget by three (because in the 60’s food was one third of one’s expenses). The living wage is individualized by city, even county and calculates food, housing, utilities, child care, and taxes. These figures show that one would need to make more than twice the amount of income at the federal poverty level to meet the basic needs. In terms of living wage, in Maine it is $37,759 for a family of four compared to the federal poverty level which is $18,392 for a family of four. This just astounds me. Translated to minimum wage, a person living in Maine would need to make $14.84 an hour, while minimum wage is only $6.25 in Maine. I just find this fascinating and maddening. The per capita income in Maine right now is about $18,734, that is $400 above the poverty level.
Thursday, November 3, 2005
November 3, 2005
After reading the methodology section of Lisa’s book, I am more invigorated and already thinking beyond this project. She just writes such touching and sensitive statements. She refers to the act of doing social research which transcends class borders as “crossing over.” There are some specific principles associated with this kind of research. 1)Being neutral is a kind of silence. She acknowledges that one can not be neutral or unbiased to do this kind of research- that in itself would be unethical. 2) Spending considerable time with people. She says that one must understand them in their lives and develop trust.
I completely agree with these principles and it relieves me to know that I am not wrong for feeling this way. I feel like I have fulfilled both of these principles for this research. I am in no way neutral and I have spent a great deal of time with these kids. Six years of observations and interviews that will never be put into a formal research document, all of which gave me incredible insight into what I would like to look at further. The final principle Lisa Dodson discusses is 3) “authoritative participation of members of whatever community or population is investigated.” This means involving them at different stages of the research, having them be involved in interpretation, and compensation. I love how she says it is “fundamental to gaining the reflective and critical analysis of those historically left out and to building with them another kind of discourse.” So, if I am able to take this data I have collected and go further with it to bring it back to them and have them interpret it that would be great. Lisa designed the methodology of interpretive focus groups and I think it could be utilized in my next steps with this project.
After reading the methodology section of Lisa’s book, I am more invigorated and already thinking beyond this project. She just writes such touching and sensitive statements. She refers to the act of doing social research which transcends class borders as “crossing over.” There are some specific principles associated with this kind of research. 1)Being neutral is a kind of silence. She acknowledges that one can not be neutral or unbiased to do this kind of research- that in itself would be unethical. 2) Spending considerable time with people. She says that one must understand them in their lives and develop trust.
I completely agree with these principles and it relieves me to know that I am not wrong for feeling this way. I feel like I have fulfilled both of these principles for this research. I am in no way neutral and I have spent a great deal of time with these kids. Six years of observations and interviews that will never be put into a formal research document, all of which gave me incredible insight into what I would like to look at further. The final principle Lisa Dodson discusses is 3) “authoritative participation of members of whatever community or population is investigated.” This means involving them at different stages of the research, having them be involved in interpretation, and compensation. I love how she says it is “fundamental to gaining the reflective and critical analysis of those historically left out and to building with them another kind of discourse.” So, if I am able to take this data I have collected and go further with it to bring it back to them and have them interpret it that would be great. Lisa designed the methodology of interpretive focus groups and I think it could be utilized in my next steps with this project.
Tuesday, November 1, 2005
November 1, 2005
I finished Lisa Dodson’s book, Don’t Call Us Out of Name. It was amazing. That is what I want to write. That is what I want my dissertation to be. She had the kids design the survey, analyze the data, and then conduct focus groups to look at the data in a more in depth manor. It was incredible. It really renewed my energy for doing participatory research. I see that there is a balance one can find and it doesn’t have to fit into the little box that is PAR. I am planning to meet with Lisa soon to talk with her about possibilities for my dissertation and to get a sense of what is within my grasp for a dissertation. I think I might be able to take this data and share it with another group of rural adolescents and have them analyze it for other themes and go more in depth about what to do next. I also think creating an exhibit of their photography would be really amazing. It might go on tour to local and school libraries. It could be very powerful.
I finished Lisa Dodson’s book, Don’t Call Us Out of Name. It was amazing. That is what I want to write. That is what I want my dissertation to be. She had the kids design the survey, analyze the data, and then conduct focus groups to look at the data in a more in depth manor. It was incredible. It really renewed my energy for doing participatory research. I see that there is a balance one can find and it doesn’t have to fit into the little box that is PAR. I am planning to meet with Lisa soon to talk with her about possibilities for my dissertation and to get a sense of what is within my grasp for a dissertation. I think I might be able to take this data and share it with another group of rural adolescents and have them analyze it for other themes and go more in depth about what to do next. I also think creating an exhibit of their photography would be really amazing. It might go on tour to local and school libraries. It could be very powerful.
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
Coding
October 19, 2005
In the HyperRESEARCH workshop this week we talked more about coding. I am finally learning how to code and how to analyze my data. I think my approach is going to be to do initial line by line coding. That will mean that I will make a code basically for each line or idea presented in the interview. Then, I will look for ways to collapse those codes into metacodes which incorporate more of the smaller codes. I think this is the best way to be thorough and not miss anything. It will also prevent my own bias from coming into play. I not only know these data, but I know these participants and I wouldn’t want to invent things that aren’t there. I want to see what the data say. This is going to be time consuming. I am doing okay with the transcribing, but I really need to get more done. I have to be able to present some preliminary findings in December.
In the HyperRESEARCH workshop this week we talked more about coding. I am finally learning how to code and how to analyze my data. I think my approach is going to be to do initial line by line coding. That will mean that I will make a code basically for each line or idea presented in the interview. Then, I will look for ways to collapse those codes into metacodes which incorporate more of the smaller codes. I think this is the best way to be thorough and not miss anything. It will also prevent my own bias from coming into play. I not only know these data, but I know these participants and I wouldn’t want to invent things that aren’t there. I want to see what the data say. This is going to be time consuming. I am doing okay with the transcribing, but I really need to get more done. I have to be able to present some preliminary findings in December.
Friday, September 30, 2005
"The Way Life Should Be?"
September 30, 2005
I have finished transcribing eight interviews. I feel like the data are amazing. I did two boys today. I have only done girls so far. They were different. The boys take a little more prompting. They are sometimes satisfied to leave it at “this is my house” and I have to ask them to talk more about why they took the picture and why it is important. Jim was interesting because he really talked about class differences in his town and how his mother was treated at school open house because she doesn’t have as much money. He is very reflective. He also loves his mother and what she does for the family. I think the mother/child relationship is getting discussed a lot in these interviews. They are very loyal to their parents. I also became interested in Bob’s stuttering. I was looking for patterns in his speech; when he did it and when he didn’t. Sometimes he articulated exactly what he wanted to say and other times he repeated not only consonants, but entire phrases several times when trying to express his thoughts. I am still working on titles and I am wondering if I can do something with the saying “Maine, the way life should be.” Bob mentioned it in his interview and it makes me think about a lot of different aspects of Maine and who came up with this saying and was it a tourist or a native? Where did he or she live? Should Maine be different in any ways?
I have finished transcribing eight interviews. I feel like the data are amazing. I did two boys today. I have only done girls so far. They were different. The boys take a little more prompting. They are sometimes satisfied to leave it at “this is my house” and I have to ask them to talk more about why they took the picture and why it is important. Jim was interesting because he really talked about class differences in his town and how his mother was treated at school open house because she doesn’t have as much money. He is very reflective. He also loves his mother and what she does for the family. I think the mother/child relationship is getting discussed a lot in these interviews. They are very loyal to their parents. I also became interested in Bob’s stuttering. I was looking for patterns in his speech; when he did it and when he didn’t. Sometimes he articulated exactly what he wanted to say and other times he repeated not only consonants, but entire phrases several times when trying to express his thoughts. I am still working on titles and I am wondering if I can do something with the saying “Maine, the way life should be.” Bob mentioned it in his interview and it makes me think about a lot of different aspects of Maine and who came up with this saying and was it a tourist or a native? Where did he or she live? Should Maine be different in any ways?
Sunday, September 25, 2005
Who's driving?
September 25, 2005
I find it so interesting to listen carefully to the tapes and to see where the interviews go. On Friday I transcribed my conversation with June. She was quite emotional in the interview and we even stopped. What it interesting is that I didn‘t lead her to that place. We were on another topic and she brought us back to her mother. She needed to tell me. It is amazing. An image that resonated with me from this interview is that she took a picture of a license plate to represent her identity. It had four numbers on it and she said that she is one of just a few in her state and school. Very interesting.
While I am transcribing I am also constantly wishing I had gone a little further, wishing I had asked just one more question to go a little deeper. Interestingly, the interview will often go back to those deeper questions later on. It is like a spiral—we revisit a similar theme or idea but go in deeper and talk about it more completely, round out the picture a little better.
I find it so interesting to listen carefully to the tapes and to see where the interviews go. On Friday I transcribed my conversation with June. She was quite emotional in the interview and we even stopped. What it interesting is that I didn‘t lead her to that place. We were on another topic and she brought us back to her mother. She needed to tell me. It is amazing. An image that resonated with me from this interview is that she took a picture of a license plate to represent her identity. It had four numbers on it and she said that she is one of just a few in her state and school. Very interesting.
While I am transcribing I am also constantly wishing I had gone a little further, wishing I had asked just one more question to go a little deeper. Interestingly, the interview will often go back to those deeper questions later on. It is like a spiral—we revisit a similar theme or idea but go in deeper and talk about it more completely, round out the picture a little better.
Monday, September 19, 2005
“What do you think it is that makes these kids resilient?”
September 19, 2005
Today I was asked: “What do you think it is that makes these kids resilient?” I know it seems illogical when they grow up in an environment and what they see is all they know. Christina’s mom is doing drugs at her house, she is sending her away to her grandmother’s house so she can party with her friends. Christina wants nothing to do with drugs, she doesn’t want to screw up her life like her mom did. And yet you’d think that she would be more inclined to be doing drugs after the exposure and access to them. What is it that makes her not? I hear anger and frustration in her voice. In her egocentric, adolescent mind, her mother’s choices are impacting her quality of life and in her eyes this is wrong. Is it the anger and bitterness that keeps them from making it part of their lives? Where do their aspirations come from? Maybe this question will get answered.
Today I was asked: “What do you think it is that makes these kids resilient?” I know it seems illogical when they grow up in an environment and what they see is all they know. Christina’s mom is doing drugs at her house, she is sending her away to her grandmother’s house so she can party with her friends. Christina wants nothing to do with drugs, she doesn’t want to screw up her life like her mom did. And yet you’d think that she would be more inclined to be doing drugs after the exposure and access to them. What is it that makes her not? I hear anger and frustration in her voice. In her egocentric, adolescent mind, her mother’s choices are impacting her quality of life and in her eyes this is wrong. Is it the anger and bitterness that keeps them from making it part of their lives? Where do their aspirations come from? Maybe this question will get answered.
Saturday, September 17, 2005
This is my world
September 17, 2005
I am feeling incredibly attached to my data, possessive, territorial. Maybe this is common when it is your first research project, and yet maybe this is just my passionate side coming through. I have the potential to get someone to help with the transcribing. I am hesitant to bring another person on board; to give some one else access to my data. I feel obligated to uphold my promise to the participants to not share their information with anyone else. I am committed to the trust they had in me and the work they did. My data are rich and I want to get into them, to see them from all angles. I know that to get to that place I have a lot of work to do and I know that it won’t take away from my project to allow someone else to help me. I also find that I want to hear their voices again. I want to spend time with them while I am transcribing their interviews. My personal attachment to the participants is standing in my way when it comes to giving up some of the work. But there aren’t enough hours in the day. There isn’t enough time to get everything done and this help would be an asset.
I am feeling incredibly attached to my data, possessive, territorial. Maybe this is common when it is your first research project, and yet maybe this is just my passionate side coming through. I have the potential to get someone to help with the transcribing. I am hesitant to bring another person on board; to give some one else access to my data. I feel obligated to uphold my promise to the participants to not share their information with anyone else. I am committed to the trust they had in me and the work they did. My data are rich and I want to get into them, to see them from all angles. I know that to get to that place I have a lot of work to do and I know that it won’t take away from my project to allow someone else to help me. I also find that I want to hear their voices again. I want to spend time with them while I am transcribing their interviews. My personal attachment to the participants is standing in my way when it comes to giving up some of the work. But there aren’t enough hours in the day. There isn’t enough time to get everything done and this help would be an asset.
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